I find it a little difficult to sit at my computer this morning and get back to work. My days spent with my mother were filled with recovery, rejuvenation and relaxation. I knew I was tired when I left here but did not know the extent of my fatigue until I started to relax.
I just returned from spending nine days in Louisiana with my precious ninety-one year old mother. I went with the intention of being fully present to myself and to her and that is all I did. I sat around, laid around and devoted most of my time to being with my momma and resting my body.
Every morning we’d sit at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee or tea and talk for two to three hours. She had a lot of family memories to share and I sat with my notebook open and pen in hand. One day we sat for five hours and looked at pictures and talked about old times. Though she is having some problems with short-term memory she certainly has no issues with her long-term memory. She related story after story to me of her childhood and our family history.
The rest of the time we laid back in recliners and mindlessly watched TV. I usually watch very little TV, but if she wanted to lay back and watch, I joined her. I took naps in the recliner every day and was in bed around 9:30 every night. I slept like a baby. Some nights we sat at the kitchen table and played cards for a couple of hours. We laughed, we cried, and we drank each other in.
She and I were taken out to lunch three times by different family members. One day I joined my favorite girl cousins for lunch and I even spent time with some school buddies I hadn’t seen in fifty-five years. I had many loving and intimate chats with my granddaughter and some precious, warm moments with my daughter. The morning I left for home, my son and I met at the airport and had a coffee. He was flying out the same time I was, but on a different airline.
I had no internet connection so I had a nine-day break from emails, social media, and blogging.I did bring my laptop and at my leisure I edited two chapters of the rough draft of my book. Other than the editing, I only wrote in my journal.
As much as I love my beloved husband and missed him, I couldn’t help notice how hard it was for me to leave Louisiana. I didn’t want to give up the relaxing days of having nothing to do, or the gift of spending so much quality time with my mother.
Coming home was stepping back into reality. Back to being present to our unemployment situation, housework, social media and writing, and taking care of business. It’s not that I wanted to escape any of these things but after nine days of being away from them, I was not looking forward to picking up where I left off.
I’m home and I’m getting back into the groove of my daily life. I feel like something has changed in me as a result of my trip. I had a taste of freedom from stress and enjoyed deep relaxation in my body and mind and I’m looking at ways to stay in that zone. I know that life is as it is but I want to learn to stay present to it without getting back into the stressful place I was in. I have a strong desire to recreate on a moment by moment basis the level of relaxation I had in Louisiana while being with my mother.
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” Buddhist Proverb