“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” Rumi
Recently, someone said to me: “You have made a lot of changes in yourself over the years, and you have redrawn some lines. How do you draw the line for yourself between something you want to change and something that is enough for now?”
The question caused me to step aside and take a few deep breaths.
“How do I make changes?”, I wondered.
After sitting with the question, I concluded that I don’t know that I have redrawn any lines or made any course corrections apart from just staying in the flow. It might feel good to take credit and say I have great willpower and planning skills, or that I follow through on intention, but I don’t think that is really how change in my life happens.
I’m not talking about physical changes, like a different job or a new hair style, or maybe buying a new car. What I am talking about is deep change, that which takes place within and creates a shift in my life. I have a feeling this kind of change starts from the inside and makes it way to the outside.
I believe, when I feel a longing in my soul, a desire for something deeper in my life, the desire becomes a wordless prayer and change begins at that moment. If I attempt to initiate the change from the outside, I usually struggle, falter, and fall short of my goal. But, when it is an inside job, it happens over a course of time. The result is real and lasting, and it is not something I manufacture.
What I long for is not outside of me. It’s not above or below; it is within. Staying in the flow, giving up struggle and the need to be something other than who I am, brings me back to where I started, to the place I long to be. HOME. Home to my authentic Self, which is where Spirit resides.