Lightfeather

Since this is the season of lights, I thought it would be a good time to tell the story about how I got my name Lightfeather and how the name changed my life.

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My name is Brenda Marie Lightfeather Marroy.  I did not get the name Lightfeather until I was in my 50′s. I do not remember the exact date but it was 1996. I was in a book store in Boone, North Carolina with a friend. We were standing by a rack of magazines talking to an acquaintance, when the name came to me.

I don’t remember what we were talking about, but somewhere in the conversation I heard the word Lightfeather echoing within. I paused for a moment and I heard it again. Somehow I knew Spirit was giving me my true name.

I did not understand what I was supposed to do with the name, nor did I understand the significance it would have in my life.

In 2000 I went to court and had the name, Lightfeather, legally added to my birth name of Brenda Marie Marroy. By then I was getting a sense of the impact the name was going to have on my life. I somehow knew part of the impact would be that I would learn to let go of heaviness so I could experience being as light as a feather, and I would move from a place of darkness into light. How this would happen and how long it would take, I did not know. What I did know was I was willing to do whatever it took to be light.

My growing into Lightfeather took place in two different ways:

1. Over the years, I learned to embrace the weighty issues I carried around in my soul. With courage as my closest ally, I opened up to whatever reared its head: shame, guilt, anxiety, rage, and grief, to name a few. These were the unaccepted parts of me I had unconsciously cast aside so I would not have to see them, feel them, or deal with them.

As I gave each of these dark/heavy states of being a name and let them into my     consciousness so I could unravel the stories around them, I found myself feeling lighter in my spirit. Once I gave them a voice they lost their power and the heaviness began to lift.

It was scary looking these bogey men in the eye, but by doing so I found my freedom  and courage to follow the healing process all the way through to the other side. It was a grand uncovering and it is still going on, but not at the same speed as when I started letting it in.

2. During those years, I went through some painful experiences, and even though I wanted to run away and hide my grief,  I knew I needed to allow myself to break open. As I stayed with the feelings,  my shell started to crack and I began to see the light hidden behind and underneath the bushel basket of darkness.

To my surprise, the darkness in my life was all the things I held dear, such as my attachments to my beliefs, perceptions, knowledge and relationships; all the things I was afraid to question, lose, or give up.  These were the things I fought for and felt insulted about if you questioned them.

I began to understand the meaning of surrender. The more I let go and opened to the light of Spirit, the more light I had to see the hidden treasures. The crack in my armor was growing and as it did I found my joy, peace, happiness, love, acceptance, compassion, tenderness, forgiveness, and kindness, all sitting within under the heaviness and darkness.

Lightfeather has manifested as light in my life in more ways than I could have wished for. or imagined. Thanks to the grace of Goddess/God I know what it means to give up heaviness and darkness and walk into the light. Now, when I say my name is Lightfeather, I believe it because I embody it.

Life is good, I am blessed beyond measure, and I am grateful.

Posted in Acceptance, Consciousness, freedom, Making choices, Meaningful words, spiritual, Vulnerability | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments